One of the first things that made me start seeing through fundamentalism was a satire blog website written by an ex-fundamentalist. I was weird to read the articles and the comments and see how those not in fundamentalisms may view some of the things that went on within fundamentalism. It was my first real inkling that something was amiss as it planted questions in my head about what I had always believed. Many fundamentalists would think this was a bad thing and would therefore condemn such websites, but for me it was a blessing to see the things I had always believed being satirized because I began to realize that there was more than one way to see things, even weird fundamentalist culture.
Such websites can be extremely useful and I am very thankful that they were there during the time that I began to question. I’m also thankful that the sites are available to others who may need this kind of wakeup call. However, in the last couple of weeks I have had to think seriously about giving up such websites, because these days they just make me cynical. I’m at a point right now where cynicism is something that I struggle with and I don’t need to feed it. These websites are online communities that I have grown to know and love, communities that I have been able to talk about my experiences with others. But I’m not sure that they are healthy for me anymore if they are just leaving me jaded.
I know that there is plenty of dirt in fundamentalism, but it’s probably time for me personally to move along and stop spending so much of my time and effort on it. It would be a better use of my time if I were to help someone who is hurting either from religious abuse; fundamentalism in general, or from many other issues rather than spending my time getting all worked up about something I cannot do anything about. It would be so much more profitable and it would save me from getting upset about situations that I cannot control or change.
I don’t think that anyone should be sweeping sin under the rug, but I also don’t want to feel the need to anxiously follow every scandal or situation that comes up. There are some situations or issues that I have had experience with that are issues I might want to keep up with, I don’t want to feel resentment in my heart every time someone satirizes an experience I went through, I don’t want to well up with anger inside because I read a story that I would have been better off leaving alone.
Which is why, although I am extremely thankful that such sites exist, especially for people that need them, it might be time for me to take a break, where instead of focusing on the issues in fundamentalism, I focus on Christ instead.