Divorce (Follow Up)

Honestly I was surprised at the response I got to my previous post about my upcoming divorce, because it wasn’t in my opinion very well written, and although I have many other topics on my mind, the divorce was the only one I could write any thoughts about. I’m in a weird place emotionally, I’m happy and sad. The kind of response I got to the last post was amazing, and it goes to show me that the topic of divorce is still not something that Christians tend to talk to each other honestly and openly about.

Most of my regular blog readers know that I strive to be honest and authentic in all of my writing; however, I’m not able to go into details about all of the reasons that I am getting divorced because there is another person, my ex-husband, involved. He’s a human being with feelings and thoughts of his own, and his version of the divorce story is different to mine. Out of respect to him and because the aim of this blog is to be edifying, this is not going to be a mudslinging match; I’m not going to sit here and write and put on a public forum the reasons why I’m getting a divorce. The thing is, those that know me best know what happened, those that do know what happened all have their own thoughts and feelings.

So while there are legitimate reasons for the divorce, I’m not sure that it’s helpful, edifying or respectful to blast them on here. I have and will continue to talk to some of you privately, at my discretion. I do want to be of help to those who have genuinely come seeking help and asking questions. I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer those because obviously I am not great at marriage, but if I can help I will try.

I do think it’s important that the Christian community continue to discuss divorce because the reality is it affects all of us in some way. Actually the Christian community needs to begin discussing lots of topics, engaging in non-judgmental dialog in order for us to help each other. Instead of shooting our wounded, we need to be there to help. I’m not saying we should be condoning of sin, but it is possible to have a non-judgmental dialog without condoning sin, in fact I’ve had a few therapists that are very good at it. And for me, by the time I want to actually talk about something that I’ve been struggling with, I already know that it’s wrong, and what I need is understanding and guidance.

So, let us help each other by continuing to discuss important topics, and let us do so without demonizing everyone else, even those who have sinned against us. And I need to work on that goal more than anyone.

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