Non-Christian

I’ve had several people concerned for my soul lately, telling me that I’m going to an eternal inferno to fry forever if I don’t believe exactly what they believe. I’ve had my faith called into question mostly because the person I’m conversing with disagrees with me. I had one friend concerned that I’d “converted to Catholicism” when I’ve done no such thing, rather I’ve been confirmed Episcopalian.

I’ve “gotten saved” more times than I can count. I know all of the arguments. I used to stand on street corners passing out tracts or holding up signs, I used to annoy people by knocking on their doors to ask them if they died tonight were there 100% sure they would go to heaven and if not they could pray this pretty little prayer after me and be guaranteed a place in paradise for all eternity. Heck, I’ve even been baptized three times since I “got saved” so many times.

I never told people how many times I “got saved” because they thought I was saved already. It was supposed to be a one time deal, but I always felt unsure if I had really meant the prayer enough and that maybe I was truly going to hell for eternity. Still now I have friends and well meaning people trying to get me “saved” when I’ve been “saved” over and over again.

I was earnest about being saved and getting everyone that I knew saved as well. I’m even uncomfortable with the term “getting saved” because it’s inherently linked to a belief in hell. See, being saved from hell has never been the point. Jesus didn’t come to save us from hell, he came to save us from our sins, and to bring about the Kingdom of God.

Because I’m in a more LGBTQ affirming church, I’ve had my status as a Christian questioned because people believe that a person who is LGBTQ affirming cannot also be a Christian because they believe that to be LGBTQ is sin, so therefore anyone who is supportive of LGBTQ people are going against the Bible and therefore can’t possibly be Christian. As a bisexual Christian I’m part of the LGBTQ community, and God created me this way. Saying that God would create me bisexual and that being bisexual dooms me to hell unless I repent, sounds an awful lot like Calvinism, a belief that says that God created certain people to go to heaven and certain people to go to hell, that God had foreknowledge of that, and that God chose to create people that would go to hell anyway.

If God truly did that, God would not be a loving God. God is love, the Bible says, and in him is no darkness at all. A God of love would not create someone specifically to be an abomination, just so that God could have the pleasure of sending them to hell. That would be sadism and hate, not love.

I’m a Christian whether others believe it or not. I was baptized when I was ten. “Getting saved” had nothing to do with it. I’m bisexual and I was created this way because it pleased a good and loving God to create me this way. Just like God created all the other things about me, God created this. Genesis says that God looked down on what God had made and called it “very good”. People can’t be both very good and an abomination at the same time.

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